How to Identify your feelings during the tough times- Group A: 7 feelings that cause Anger.

Hi dear friends,
Welcome to my blog!
As mentioned in my previous post, "How to Recognise your feelings, during the tough times", this post will make it easier for you to start identifying your feelings.  
Have you heard these phrases before?:
"I feel so frustrated.", "I am scared" Many a times we tend to club emotions or use them interchangeably.  For eg: expressions like, "I am frustrated", when we are actually angry, or "I am scared" when we are feeling insecure. I have tried to fine tune them so that the distinction is clearer. I have divided these 15 emotions/feelings into 2 groups, Group A- Anger causing and Group B- Fear causing.
Today, we'll look at Group A:7 Anger causing feelings. The Group B:8 Fear causing feelings, will follow in my next post.
Have you ever felt anger? Read on..

Let's begin with a story!

Ravi is a bright, young, enthusiastic software graduate from a premier IT institute in India, looking for the 'perfect' job in top notch organisations. He gets his dream job and joins. The first 3 months were great. He loves his job. He is appreciated for his professional work ethics. As days pass by,  he realises that along with the 'fun' part of the job, comes the tedious part like generating reports, attending meetings and similar mundane tasks. Very soon he starts getting bored with daily routine tasks, it starts interfering with his creativity. He wonders what he is doing here, this nagging thought grows into dissatisfaction. The boss notices that Ravi isn't happy, so he asks, what is bothering him. Ravi explains how he feels about the routine office work eating into his creative time. So, his boss makes him understand, the importance of processes, for smooth running of the company. This did little to convince Ravi. He is unable to get the zing back into his job. He feels he is being overworked and even his salary is not enough to motivate him. He is slowly, spiralling downwards emotionally. He feels that his boss doesn't care for him, or else he would have done something about it. His dream job now feels like a burden, he becomes indifferent towards his work goals and starts shutting down emotionally. He doesn't want to interact, with anyone in his team and least of all with his boss, against whom he holds a grudge. Every time he gets a call from his boss he replies with irritation in his voice. However, unlike most bosses, Ravi's boss is firm but kind as well, he tries to reason with and explain to Ravi that, this is life in the corporate world, but nothing changes for Ravi, he is trapped in his own mind. His boss had no choice but to leave him alone. Ravi who was always the centre of attention, see's this as an insult and it frustrates him. He feels ignored and starts acting up to seek his boss' attention, which is now really difficult to get. Almost a year had gone by and things only go from bad to worse for Ravi.  After 8 months he decided that he has had enough, and now, if he has to stay, then it will be on his terms. So, with this in mind he goes into his boss' cabin and demands for a promotion  and a raise. His boss flatly refuses saying, "It is too early, to talk about promotions and raises now, let's see, it may be possible during the annual performance appraisal which is, 4 months later," This reply pushes Ravi off the edge. Cold anger sets in and he decides to do something that could put his boss and the company into deep trouble. He stomps angrily into the boss' cabin and hands over his resignation letter, with just a week's notice instead of a month, which was the company policy. Surprisingly, his boss does not stop him nor ask him what had triggered this sudden decision. Ravi has a week to work out his wicked plan. He plans his moves carefully, he programmes bugs into some of the most valuable software products of the company and even tampers with the office functioning software, which would lead to a major breakdown a month after he left. Everything goes as per schedule and he reads in the papers about the shut down of all major processes and operations.  He is overjoyed that he had done it. Though, not for long. The company, set up an investigation team and despite all the precautions, Ravi had taken, to ensure that he would leave no trace of his activities, they found out who the culprit was. Ravi is arrested. Now, this bright young man with great potential is doing time in prison. We ask ourselves was it worth it? After a few nights in the lockup, it is beginning to dawn upon him that he had committed a serious offence and even starts feeling a little guilty for his actions, though, still justifying it and blaming the company for his actions. This could be any one of us, in any walk of life. One nagging feeling leads to another and before we know it the damage is done.




Now, let's start Identifying these feelings with the help of this list below:

Group A- 7, Anger based emotions in the descending order of their intensity:

1.Guilt: The feeling of having committed a specified or implied offence or crime.

Behaviour: Blaming everyone else for their own actions.
2. Anger: This is one of  the strongest feelings of annoyance or displeasure.
Behaviour: Very aggressive threatening communication, verbal, non verbal or cold silence.

3.Frustration- Feeling upset for being unable to achieve or change something.

Behaviour: Aggressive communication similar to anger but directed towards self .

4. Irritability: Bad temper, impatience, ill humour.

Behaviour: Aggressive communication verbal and non verbal but lower than frustration.

5.Indifference: Lack of concern, interest or sympathy or empathy.
Behaviour: Distracted behaviour.

6.Dissatisfaction: Feeling of lack or disapproval or envy.

Behaviour: Mildly aggressive communication, similar to frustration but less intense.

7.Boredom: The state of being weary and restless because of lack of interest, low growing anger.

Behaviour: Restless body language, low tone of voice.
Let's try to identify these emotions by linking them to Ravi's story for better understanding.
We can see from the story above, how Ravi's downward spiral begins when he gets bored with the tedious work and how it leads to job dissatisfaction, which then makes him indifferent towards his work, which causes him to have differences with his boss, leading to irritability and consequently feeling ignored by his boss, which again, makes him frustrated and before he realises what is happening, anger in it's most intense form takes over, when he is refused a promotion and a raise. He decides to take revenge. As we are all well aware, there will always be, consequences for our actions, no matter what the provocation is. He is paying the price by going to prison, for tampering with office software. It takes a few weeks, before the anger dissipates and guilt begins to emerge. Therefore, "Being forewarned is being forearmed"

I hope you found the post helpful, to understand how to identify these emotions, when you experience them yourself or see it in others. We need to keep in mind, that even though everybody experiences all these emotions everyday, the intensity is not the same for everyone. Each one of us, is unique, in the way we handle our feelings and process them.
Please do let me know what you think, in comments section below.
That's all for now, till my next post bye!