How to identify your feelings during the tough times- Group B: 8 Feelings that cause Fear.

Hi dear friends!
Welcome to my blog!


In this post, I will help you identify, the 8  feelings that cause fear. We have all felt fear in certain situations and in varying degrees in our life. We have dealt with these feelings by either diverting our attention or confronting them head-on. The story below demonstrates how major events in life trigger certain feelings and alter our lives. If these feelings are not given their due attention and put to rest by sound reasoning, they can create havoc. The question is, how do you think clearly when emotions are clouding your mind. Let's see how a seemingly harmless feeling of insecurity opens the door to the other more intense and troublesome feelings.


Story: Sushma's battle with Fear!
 Sushma was married to the best guy in the world, to the love of her life. She was a graduate in Arts and preferred working from home and building her home business. Her husband, Sumant, was very supportive and cooperative, so she had the choice of either working at a corporate or from home. They were a happy couple....until ....one day an unfortunate incident changed everything for them!! She had an accident at home when a wall cabinet in the kitchen came crashing down, with all the crockery, causing all the glassware to splinter and scatter all over the kitchen floor. Although she just missed being crushed to death, she was quite severely injured. She managed to drag herself out of the kitchen and go to the neighbours who promptly called her husband and an ambulance and rushed her to the hospital. Then began their ordeal...it took 6 months for Sushma to recover from all the internal injuries and external injuries. However every time she tried to stand she would collapse on the floor. A visit to the doctor confirmed that the nerves in her legs were damaged and would heal over a period of 3 years. This came as a shock to her, she couldn't believe all this was happening to her. Her husband was compassionate throughout the ordeal and helped her cope. A year into her condition she started feeling insecure and kept incessantly questioning Sumant's actions and delays. She started feeling inadequate and that he may not want to be with her. As days passed by, her insecurity makes her oversensitive, she constantly snaps at Sumant and cries. Still, her husband loved her and stood by her, he understood her predicament. After a few months, she started to worry about whether she would ever fully recover. Day in and day out she worried about the future. She had built her home business which was a combination of online and onsite work. She had to decide what to do with the business. How to manage it. She was unable to decide what to do, should she inform her clients, that she could work only online and not be able to do any onsite work for at least 3 years, or should she think of doing something else altogether. She was in a dilemma and helplessness started creeping in. To add to this situation her husband decided to take up a new job which would pay more, but he would have to travel more. She tried to reason with him but he said that they needed the money. So leaving her with a caretaker for days, sometimes a week, he kept touring. This decision by her husband confused her she couldn't understand why. 2 years passed by and their relationship became very strained, they fought a lot. Slowly and stealthily creeping up was fear. The big terrifying question kept haunting her "What if things get worse?" As we all know, no one can answer that question, only time will tell, based on our actions and decisions. She was extremely fearful and all hope left her. She was convinced that her life was over. She couldn't even walk for another year! What if she would never walk?! Depending on her caretaker for everything made her miserable and filled her with shame. She then decided to the unthinkable, to put an end to her misery and set her husband 'free', by thinking of committing suicide. Luckily, for her, her husband had sensed something was not right with his wife. So he came back from his tour and saw her in emotional pain. He decided to take up a job close by, so that, he could be home more often. He also discussed with her about talking to a qualified mental health professional to deal with her current situation. She gladly agreed...by the end of the year, she became emotionally more stable and also was able to walk normally without any help...and they lived happily ever after!!

 Most stories are not this extreme. This is an example of where things can go if left unattended or ignored. Most of us may not actually end our lives, but even the thought of doing so should set the alarm bells ringing. No one wants to die. We all love life. It is therefore important to understand that feelings are not to be taken for granted.


Group B-8 Fear causing emotions in the descending order of their intensity:

So, let's identify these Fear causing emotions they are listed in the descending order of their intensity:

1. Shame: a Painful feeling of humiliation by the awareness of a wrong or foolish behaviour.

Behaviour: Completely withdrawing from society, bouts of crying, screaming, hating oneself.

2. Fear- Feeling of threat or danger.  
Behaviour: Completely withdrawing socially and/or emotionally, panicking, over-vigilant/alert.

3. Confusion: Uncertainty about what is happening required or intended.

Behaviour: Being almost paralysed emotionally, unable to connect with anyone or do anything worthwhile.
4. Helplessness- Inability to defend oneself or act effectively.
Behaviour: Crying or passive body language.
5. Indecision:  Weighing the pros and cons for too long and unable to provide a clear action/thought.

Behaviour: Indirect answers or changing the topics.

6. Worry: Feel anxious or troubled by actual or potential problems.
Behaviour: Overplanning, overthinking with no action.

7. Over Sensitivity: Too easily upset without sufficient reason.

Behaviour: Micro analysing the situation and overreacting verbally or non verbally.
8. Insecurity: Lack of self-confidence, anxiety about oneself.

Behaviour: Similar to fear but directed towards self, putting others down, ridiculing the efforts of others happier than them only to show that they are better off than the rest.

Now let us link Sushma's story to the list above for better understanding. We see in the story above that Sushma is a normal happy person. A mishap changes her life and then begins her downward emotional spiral when she is unable to stand. She becomes insecure about her married life and starts questioning her husband about his actions. Her insecurity makes her over sensitive to things and people around her. She worries about her future. Indecisive about her home business leading to helplessness about how she would manage. She becomes confused when her husband decides to take up a touring job this leads to fear. Then, after being bedridden for almost 2 years now, she began to feel ashamed for being so dependant on another person. She decides to end her life. Thankfully for her, her husband is connected and caring, he takes all the right steps and saves a precious life.


There are many people going through life silently experiencing emotional agony, responding by either fight or flight. Thinking that they are protecting themselves, however, these emotions are here to stay as long as humans exist. Accepting and dealing with them would be better than ridiculing or brushing them off.


I hope you can identify these 15, Group A and Group B feelings more easily now. There are many more feelings that you may recognize and identify. All of us, go through these emotions in our work or daily life situations. Most people are able to handle the great pressures of life, very well. That is normal. However, it is necessary to sit up and take notice when you observe that, one or more of the above-mentioned feelings, or any other negative emotion /s becomes the consistent dominant behavioural style in yourself or another person. That is the time to ask the question, "Why am I/are they behaving like this?" Last but not the least, always remember to be gentle, each one is fighting their own battle!
That's all for now, thanks for your time.


Do let me know if you found the post useful. My next post will be on how to cope with these feelings /emotions. Till then bye!